losing what i never had

why it hurt. it hurt b/c i had lost a love recently. it hurt to think i was losing amy. i dont have her, i have the hope that we would have something together. that is it, that is what hurt to feel was being lost. i t hurt also b/c i had pushed it, it hurt to feel that i had wanted it so badly. i really want to have company and that scares me. it drove that action. i wasnt too patient, i was instead persistent. losing what i never had. do i hurt when i think of losing steph. yes. i do /did. i cant do anything about it now, she has the decision to make. i hurt a lot when she left and now i dont