your hope seedling stems from your love of life, loving kindness

i love your moonlight adventure finder soul, d

10-4-11

if jason gets job,i stay and see what shakes out

if brad gets the job i gotta go, asap...may

paint wood interior of the boat, get it running, take a few trips

what is fitness to me, what is health? being able to do activities
climb lead all tens in gym
run 5 mile trail ruun
dirtride laps at tamarancho
roadride 50 miles
sup cross bay
surf paddle out pacifica, ride
sup surf, bolinas
kayak cross bay
yoga 1/week
pilates 1/week
relax daily

9/30/1

dolphins galore. living bay:) beautiful beautiful beautiful, went over to headlands for run. great run, sore left head of femur, tight there it seemed. rode over bridge, saw dolphins, so many... they got out of the way of the costco. huge water cutter. caught up with etc river crew, cheyenne and robin. split for mward, split for home. life life is paradox. there is black and white, lots of it.

today,

ed b day, but didnt get to talk to him, called and left message with him, and jeanie. got molar fixed, it was tooth #12, the filling had broken so it was cleaned out and replaced with white filling, no custard. dentist visit wasnt so bad. good on me. got the trash pincher and a bucket too, camo bucket. trash wont know what hit it, blindsided. camo bucketblitzkreig. pulling in to marina and saw melanie, berkeley 7 yr cop, blocking off front age rd. took the opportunity and loaded the bucket with sea breeze trash. ice plant never looked so good. crescent sliver of a moon hung over the bay framed by pink and grey sunset pillow clouds. moments of clarity today...hmmm...chillin out in the dentist chair, stretching at piper park was good, good start for sure. reward was that i got to pick up trash and mean a really good person, officer o da law. easy conversation, mutual respect, more credit on her end, not often cops credit a bushy haired dude in cycling casualwear. paz out

2007

1. bike riding lesson, each turn is set up by a counter turn
2. hope inspires people more than fear, proof is human behaviour, animals are just as much by driven their desire to mate than by their desire to avoid death2007

from untwister 2006-

how to continue orgainzing, despite the odds, and win --- inconsequentally.


1. you dont climb to get to the top... right? you dream of an endless climb. would you continue climbing if you knew you would never reach the top of any pf the climbs you got on? yes. wnad why is that? b/c you dream of an endless climb. you love the climbing, not the end of the climb. why would you stop organizing if you knew you would never reach the 'top?' in other words, why stop/ cease to start/ even consider ceasing to organize when the odds are so seemingly stacked against you that it seems futile and almost a certainty that you wont suceed. i never wanted to suceed in climbing in the sense of standing at the top, i loved the climb, it wanted it to continue forever. so i dont care what the prospects of a sucessful outing of my interest happen to be, i care only in the pleasure brought to me in the process of its doing.
---ask what do you like to do, and the answer you get is that people like to do processes, they wont mention the results--they'll say running. not winning marathons; or biking, not winning bike races; or walking, not "getting myself to my destination." we love processes. we fear overwhelming situations/odds.

2. hitting the bulls eye comes from doing every step correctly. concentrate on the odds of hitting it and you miss, concentrate on the results of hitting it--victory etc.. and you'll miss. concentrate on the small steps and execute them flawlessly and unless someone moves the target, you can walk away without looking, knowing that the arrow is in the bull's eye.
so focus on the process, on the steps involved in the process and not on the results and you win. the moment in the process in which you redirect your focus from the process to the result you fail to execute that step of the prcess and you can rest assured the goal is surely lost. focus on the proces and win.

believe in what you do, do what you believe in--despite the odds. let love connect you to steps of the process, do what you love. stay in the process (stay in love). accept victory with humilty.

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from untwister 2006-

if you went to a doctor and were told that you had liver failure and that you weren't well would you think you would feel better by going to another doctor? ok say you go to another and they say that yes you do have liver failure and so that previous doc was right, plus this one says you also have kidney fialure. woulkd you expect relief from another doc? no right? then why continue burying yourself in news? why read more and more, are you expecting that after a certain amount you will feel better? what make you fell better is soemthing that reverses or alleviates your illnesses. something that brings them helath. say its a correct diet, or some form of exercise. that is what is going to make you feel better, not more of what makes you feel worse. what makes us fell better whnen we get down after reeading the paper? action to counter those feelings. action to allieveate the pain. that is what organizing is. it is our medicine for what demoralizes us when we read the newspaper. it is the medicine on the shelf, the kemotherapy for the cancerous speial interest driven tumors attacking our dmeocracy. ----the mind set which created our problems cant be the mindset that is able to undo them with solutions. --keep thinknig like this.

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